SHYNESS

Shyness may not seem to be a serious complaint, but for some who suffer from it, it can become unbearable. Even talking to a small group of people you know can seem like an orderal - it can feel as if you've been asked to give a speech on a topic you know very little about to a number of experts. You start to feel hot and shaky, your heart beats faster, your knees feel weak, you began to stutter and the whole experience seems to last forever.

The fact of the matter is that shyness is something we often recognise in others: blushing (going red) is one of the more visible signs, for example. Yet we don't judge someone harshly because of this. But shyness does mean that you're harder to approach, so you become more isolated. As one shy person put it, " It's like being in a prison, and its very hard to break out".

Experts on the subject have come up with various possible solutions, and one has been singled out as being the key to success - namely, finding an interest in common with other people. Spending a lot of time on the sidelines watching other people and envying them because they are much more outgoing doesn't help; remembering that some of the peopleyou envy most are probably shy themselves, does. The secret is how you deal with it. And experts have come up with four things you can do today to help.

Firstly, you can start by listening to other people. You will find yourself getting interested in what they're talking about and asking questions - and before you know it, you'll be having a conversation.

Secondly, you could try asking neighbours if you can walk their dog. Like children, pets can be excellent icebreakers for conversation with passer-by.

Thirdly, try joining a class to learnsomethind like tap-dancing or salsa, where people are likely to laugh a lot. You'll feel relaxed, and also you'll be much too busy concentrating on what you're doing to feel shy.

Lastly, try telling yourself that it doesn't matter if you say or do something silly. Most people make a fool of themselves every so often - and it's not the end of the world if you do!